Play is child-led NOT adult-led
Let the children do the hard work - your job is to facilitate
I've lost count of the amount of gorgeous Instagram posts I've seen where colourful play areas, play activities and sensory experiences are being created by adults. What they almost never show, is what these look like AFTER children have played with them. I'll let you guess....
This is a beautiful play area, and I commend the adult for spending so long dying the rice. Presumably the adult wants the child to put the chicks into the muffin cases with tweezers, and presumably this is because of 'fine motor skill development'.
I've been there. As an early years teacher I also sat and created these social media-worthy play areas, so I know exactly how children view them. Their instant thought is, "oh, the adult wants me to do something here," and this means that we instantly set a clash of agendas between them and us.
On the one hand, we have communicated that we want play to go in a certain way eg we want the chicks to go in the cases. On the other hand we have led the child to believe they are having a free play opportunity. In fact, all we have done is actively thwarted the genuine self-expression and deep-learning that play can provide.
If instead we let children create their own play areas, using loose parts, and we responded to their play cues by providing them with what they needed (whether resources or verbal prompts) we can build on their play ideas and foster genuine open-ended free play.
Observe your child's play cues
Observing means getting into the World of your child, what David Elkind calls their Inner World. Leave your World behind. Leave behind the news, the bills and the dinner prep. Leave behind your scrolling, your concerns about the neighbours and the drama with next-door's cats. Enter the only place that matters: Your children's World. This means giving time for play. Time that is not spent multi-tasking.
This is hard!
However, once there, you can genuinely seek to observe your child in play. It is surprising how much your child communicates when they play. They tell you what they need to practice (throwing, writing, jumping and balancing), they tell you their interests (space, dinosaurs, castles and fairies), they tell you where they are with language (forming sounds, words and sentences) and they display their emotions (through role-play and body language).
These observations give you a important insights. Most importantly they provide a cue for play. Once that cue is given, it becomes your job to understand that cue and then respond. Don't rush to see actions that on the surface seem annoying (such as throwing toys) as something you have to stop instead ask yourself:
What is my child communicating?
Respond to your child's play cues
Once a cue is given, now it's your turn to respond. You need to provide a logical next step to the cue. Imagine your child starts arranging cups on the carpet and placing balls in them. This is the play cue. Here are some ways you could respond:
"Load the cups with energy, we need to power the rocket before it blasts into space captain!"
"I see you're getting organised, can we organise your other toys as well?"
"How many groups of 2 have you made in each cup?"
When all else fails just mimic what your child is doing. If they don't like that, play alongside them with something else and see if both play ideas can fuse together.
Loose parts are more important than toys
Everyone loves toys, obviously, but they are no substitute for loose parts. Toys may have elements to them which take away the creativity in play. For example, if a toy pulls back and goes, or has some other kind of automation, you have taken away the chance for your child to creatively add that automation themselves. If a toys has a face, a personality, even it's own voice, your child can't add that voice for themselves.
Now if your child makes a unicorn from lollysticks and cardboard, their love for that unicorn and the learning it has provided, is vastly better than if the unicorn had been provided for them.
A child can imbue loose parts with anything their imagination can conjur up. Lego and a cup becomes a glass of water, two blocks stacked next to each other becomes mummy and daddy, cushions become rocks over lava and balls become lumps of cheese at a dinner party.
Examples of loose parts:
Pine Cones: Natural objects that can be used for sorting, counting, and imaginative play, stimulating sensory exploration.
Wooden Blocks: Versatile building materials that encourage creativity, spatial reasoning, and fine motor skills through stacking and constructing.
Shells: Varied shapes and textures that can be used in sensory bins, art projects, or as components in imaginative play scenarios.
Fabric Scraps: Pieces of different colors, textures, and sizes that can be used for costumes, fort-building, or creating landscapes for small-world play.
Buttons: Assorted sizes and colors perfect for sorting, pattern-making, or as decoration elements in craft projects.
Stones: Smooth or rough natural objects useful for counting, building, or creating designs in sand and dirt.
Twigs: Flexible and natural items that can be used for building structures, drawing in sand, or as pretend play props.
Cardboard Tubes: Recyclable items that can be turned into tunnels, telescopes, or parts of construction projects.
Beads: Small, colorful objects that can be strung together for fine motor skill development or used in sensory bottles and art.
Leaves: Various shapes and colors that can be used in art, nature collages, or as pretend food in imaginative play.
ALWAYS MAKE SURE SMALL PARTS ARE NOT GIVEN TO BABIES AND TODDLERS AS THIS CAN BE A CHOKING HAZARD.
Maximise Free Play Opportunies
In today's World, there are so many barriers to play. It is our job as parents to sweep away the barriers to play and ensure our children are experiencing free, open-ended play as often as we can.
These are some of the barriers you may find which block play:
You lack confidence
Well, that is why this website exists! Hopefully the pointers above can support you gain some confidence. You could also consider parental support services such as Play England, Play Scotland and Play Wales. Avoid scrolling through gorgeous looking Instagram posts!
Technology
Phones, tablets and consoles are addictive. The threat they pose to free play cannot be overstated. Most of us are addicted to scrolling through social media, and most children are addicted to apps and online videos specifically designed to keep their attention. The damage it is doing is catalogued in a number of studies. You can read about them here.
Simple solutions:
Keep your child away from Smartphones until they are much older. You could consider joining Smartphone Free Childhood.
Don't buy them a tablet unless you have a clear idea of how you will incorporate them into your child's free play experiences.
Keep your smartphone in a different room when you play with your child.
You feel they should be learning not playing
Well..... a hard no to this one. The reason is because when they play, they are learning all the time. When their play is uninhibited and free, they are learning exactly what they need at the pace they need to learn it. Of course, sometimes you want them to come and read with you or do a specific piece of maths work. If that's the case, build those times into your daily routine. You'd be surpised at just how well your child can self-guide their learning when given the opportunity!
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